Run with it

Aah!! I haven't blogged in almost a month. Bad bad... I swore to write at least once a week. It's just really crazy the past few weeks. This is probably the busiest I've been since I moved here. And even though I lack sleep, totally breaking out and sporting extra fatty eye bags.. I'm having the best time. :) Funny how several months would uneventfully linger on, then suddenly life bombards you with the coolest surprises. No time to think, go lang ng go!

Will (must!) write more, soon.

Easter Roadtrip

To celebrate my very first Easter day away from the tropics, we decided to take a mini roadtrip.

So I rolled out of bed at 6 a.m. on a Sunday morning, threw on yesterday's clothes and dragged myself to my car. This is your driver for the day, goodluck with the next 60 miles.

Destination: the Mission Basilica San Juan Capistrano in Orange County.


Visiting this national shrine seems fitting for the occasion. It is a holy day after all. Plus, I missed the whole Bisita Iglesia tradition this year, so this somewhat makes up for it.

Now, no roadtrip is complete without the essentials: coffee for the driver, a chill playlist, GPS! (i'm hopeless without this), the digicam and loooads of car food.

Pit stop: Balboa Island. My dad's friend works here so we decided to stop by for coffee. I love this place. I've been here once before but that didn't make the area any less charming. It's this really small whimsical island off Newport Beach. Despite it being an upscale neighborhood, the atmosphere here isn't intimidating at all. You'll find the cutest, tiny, old school shops selling candy, beachwear, flowers, furniture, toys.. everything! And all of them are compact size. The island is so small you can walk the entire perimeter in less than an hour. Most of the residents just use golf carts to go around.


Each of the houses have their own private dock in their 'backyard' where they 'park' their kayaks, speedboats and yachts. It's really cool how one place can be both fancy and relaxed.

After getting the caffeine fix, we're ready to head further down south (about 20 more miles) to San Juan Capistrano.


When we arrived at the Basilica, it was really crowded. The mass was just about to end so while we were waiting, I decided to wander around and take pictures.


After hearing mass we went back to Balboa Island for lunch. I was really looking forward to this part of the day 'cause it will be my first non-veggie meal after 40 days. We opted for Mexican food. Enchiladas, nachos, chimiflautas, quesadillas.. yummm. Food is bliss.


We figured we need to do a bit of walking after stuffing ourselves with beans and guacamole. So we loaded my car onto the auto ferry (RORO!) and headed for the beach on the Peninsula.


It was a super tiring day I was so scared of falling asleep during the drive home. My dad was handing me gum after gum to keep me awake. Haha! Anyway, I should start planning my next roadtrip. I wanna do one every month now.. but I need a driver. Hehe.

* If you're my Multiply contact, you can view the rest of the pictures here.

Meatless

Lenten season will be ending in approximately 48 hours. Finally, I can eat meat again. I made a commitment to be a pseudo-vegetarian for 40-something days.. and surprisingly, it wasn't too bad. I did succumb to temptation three times. Tsk. Pork sisig, orange chicken and Chickenjoy are my downfalls. Hayayay.. how can i say no? It has been nine months since I had these Pinoy yumminess in my system. No regrets. Hehe.

I still think I did a pretty good job. Two months of mostly subsisting on soy protein, tofu and beans.. I must say, I didn't think it was possible. I might just convince myself to do this every year. It'll be my Lenten thing.

Being picky with food actually felt pretty cool. It kind of builds character.. it made me a little bit more interesting as a person, I think. But c'mon, how many people do you know walk into a restaurant and request for veggie meat?? Not a lot, right? According to my google search, only 4% of the American population are vegetarians. So to be counted as part of that little group, that minority, makes me feel a wee bit special. Even if it's just for forty days. Haha.

And maybe when I turn 40, I'll turn vegan for real. Maybe.

"Slip into Happiness"

This girl rocks my socks. ;]

I stumbled upon my first HappySlip video about a year ago while I was reading a Pinoy food blog, of all places. (Sorry I forgot which blog that was. So much for proper acknowledgement. I go through a lot of food blogs kasi. Sayang, that was a really good one pa naman. I'll try looking for it again so I can give the person proper credit.)

Anyhows, "HappySlip" is the one-woman production project of Christine Gambito, a Pinay who was born and raised in the United States. Most of her videos feature the lovingly hysterical stereotype of the migrant Filipino family. She plays all of the roles - from the lola in her dasters to that insensitive tita (Auntie Baby! my personal favorite). Meet the family now! Her skits would make you fall in love all over again with every single member of your Pinoy family. (And you know you need that, 'cause they can make you want to pull your hair out whenever you're home... I know I do. Haha.)

Aside from the skits, she also does music videos, sings and writes songs, plays the piano, the guitar and 'the cup' (you'll know what I'm talking about when you watch this). Well, what can I say? Filipinos are simply overflowing with talent. Hehe.

Go check her out and get ready to 'lap your heart out... with peelings'. ;]

Source: HappySlip

Haleh-luia!

So.. I'm starting to grow out my curls. Turns out, I have the 'swirly' curly hair type. You know how Taylor Swift's amazing, perfect curls look like? Kind of like that.. if she were subjected to electrocution. Haha! But seriously, i think they're cute. I still can't wear them naturally loose though, 'cause my ends are still chemically-treated straight. So I just blow dry it all straight when I feel like wearing it down or just bunch it all up in a pony tail on my lazy days (aka weekdays). I really wanted to just go ahead and chop off the entire treated portion but I don't think I'd be able to handle boy-cut curly. No no no no wayyyy...

Before I had my hair cut last month, I made sure to do my research. Not everyone can cut curly hair. That's probably why I decided to just keep on straightening it all those years. Not one of my past hair stylists knew what they were doing. I could've gone to one of our neighborhood barber shops, for far less, and have the same result: bad hair. I honestly dreaded every single one of those parlor trips the past nine years. Talk about torture with consent. I sit there for about an hour as this supposedly 'professional' grunt out insults on how brittle, rubbery (i didn't even know that hair could be rubbery!) and hopeless my tresses were. There was even this one time this lady called my hair 'cursed'. What the hell??! Eh kung kulamin kaya kita?

So, I went on Yelp (my saving grace as an L.A. newbie) and alas, found my hair person - Haleh. I love her. I love love love her!! She must've thought I hated it 'cause I was teary eyed the moment she turned me towards the three-way mirror. I was super happy with how my hair turned out when she finished that I just had to give her that crazy hug. I literally jumped out of my seat and pounced at her. I think I scared her a little bit. Ahh, where have you been all my life?

Seems silly, I know... but it really meant a lot to me having someone I can finally trust my hair with. And yeah, it was expensive. Don't even ask how much that Beverly Hills cut cost me. Yes, yes.. I am fully aware that we are in a recession. But hell, she was worth every single hard-earned penny.

Where's my stupid mouth?

"My stupid mouth has got me in trouble. I said too much again....... how could I forget? Mama said, think before speaking. No filter in my head...."

Yeah, John Mayer. My Stupid Mouth.

Call me crazy but I actually want to be more like that. No filter. I seriously have waaaayyy too many filters in my head. Whenever I open my mouth to comment on something or to throw out a retort, this incredibly swift alarm system goes off and starts to dissect whatever it is I'm about to say. All it takes is a split second.. and I'm left with nothing. I usually just let out a snort or a confused chuckle or the very handy, "Mmm-mm." It's like one of those cool juicers advertised on home tv shopping network. You put in a carrot and out comes the purest of juice. No fiber.

It's like that problem Meg Ryan had in You've Got Mail. "When I'm confronted by someone I get tongue tied and my mind goes blank. Then I spend the rest of the night tossing and turning over what i should have said." Like that, but I have it worse. I'd replay the conversation over and over again over the next few days then come up with dozens of kick ass comebacks and counter arguments... and don't forget the very passionately rehearsed facial expression and hand gesture. It's self torture, I know. But, come on. We know we can't help it.

I don't know when I got so cautious. I used to be really snappy and somewhat brutal. I miss being like that. Now, I'm just... too polite. Who installed all these damn filters in me??

*opens mouth*
*freezes*
*a million monologues in a millisecond*

..."You can't say that! Ang corny!"
..."Oh no, that'll sound racist."
..."So unoriginal."
..."Mas matanda/bata yan sa'yo. 'Wag kang bastos."
..."Ang baduy, wag mong patulan."
..."Anjan si mama/papa/lolo/lola/tito/tita, di pwede."
..."Baka ma-offend, wag na."
..."Ay, baka secret lang namin yun."
..."Dude, mahirap i-pronounce. Wag na. Baka mabarok ka lang. Nakakahiya."
..."Baka di niya ma-gets yung sasabihin ko. Ang hirap i-explain e."
..."Ang haba ng i-eexplain ko. Nakakatamad. Ang slow pa naman nito. Um-oo ka nalang."

I think in Tagalog so that's basically how it goes inside my head.

Maybe that should be one of my mini resolutions for this year. I should put on my 'stupid mouth' from time to time.

Boxes and Stars

I'm struggling with my "2oo9 Checklist". Tsk. It's March already and I still haven't decided on my targets. I guess 2008 was such a productive (and exhausting!) year for me that my indulgent psyche just wants to kick back and cut me some slack. But noooo, some innate anal force has been bugging me to commit to a few specific, measurable, tangible objectives. Blame it on the college education.

I just started this goal setting habit last year, so it's still a little scary for me. Seriously, I treat it as an 'event'. For somebody who spent her entire late adolescent life inclined to avoid any form of commitment (and succeeded, though rather ungracefully), this is a HUGE change. Writing my targets down is like setting it in stone. From here on, I have to hold myself accountable whether I'm able to tick off that checkbox by the end of the year or not.

Grown up stuff, I know. Hey, I needed to mature sometime, right?

Okay.. so here's my 2009. *inhale*

1. Finalize the evaluation of my Ateneo credits so that I can figure out which classes I still need to take to qualify for an MBA in UCLA, USC and Loyola Marymount. I already sent my transcripts to the evaluating agency. Hopefully, I'll be getting them next week. I don't plan on jumping on the MBA train too soon, though. I just want to get a head start on the application process. I still need work experience and what else.. oh yeah, MONEY!!! Guess I'll be saying hello to the world of student loans sometime in my bright, bright future.
   
2. Review for and take the GMAT. I'm aiming for a score above 600. Eep. Kaya ko 'to.
   
3. Refinance my car for a better rate. I don't know how to do this yet. Maybe through work? I'll get back to this.
   
4. Build my credit. I began doing this with a secured credit card from WaMu last year but they had to close that service due to the WaMu-Chase transition. Boo. So I'm taking my business to B of A. They just approved my application for partially secured credit so.. yay!
   
5. Double my emergency fund. I've been spending too much lately. Control!!!
6. Complete the petition process for my dad. We already filed everything on the last week of January. He'll be doing the biometrics this month. If all goes well, I can tick this off my list by June or July. Woopeiii!
   

*exhale* Whew!

Alrighttt.. enough with the serious stuff. I need 'stars' on my list, too! These are the things I'm actually looking forward to doing this year. :)

1. Take a sit-down Spanish course in a local community college. I was taking tutorials last year but the setting was too casual. A classroom format would probably be more effective.
2. Back to capoeira! I want to do my first batizado and earn my first corda. :) Hopefully get a cool apelido, too!
3. Watch a live Lakers game at Staples. I need to save up for the playoffs!! I miss the ADMU-DLSU Araneta games soooo bad!
   
4. Go beach hopping and learn to surf this summer. I want to visit all the L.A. beaches first. There's Hermosa Beach, Redondo Beach, Manhattan Beach, Venice Beach, Malibu, San Juan Capistrano and also visit the Catalina Island.
5. Volunteer as a Festival Builder for the 18th Annual Festival of Philippine Arts and Culture. I wanted to volunteer last year but learned about the event too late. I'm really excited about this. I've been wanting to work with the Fil-Am community since I moved here! I'll be sending in my application next week.
   
6. Grow out my natural curls. I've been straightening my hair since sophomore year in high school. Ack! That's seven years already??! I don't even know how my curls look like anymore. But, I'm really excited to wear my hair just loose and natural. :) Embracing my true beauty (uhh Dove ad??!).
7. Update my blog at least once a week. I hope to become a better writer. In order to do that I need to write, write more, write even more, write even more than that, write when I don't want to, write when I do, write when I have something to say, write when I don't, write everyday, keep writing (those are the '10 Steps to Becoming a Better Writer' according to Brian Clark). Hmm I need to apply that to exercising..

So there it is. My balls and chains.. erm, I mean, boxes and stars for 2009. "I'll hold you to it!" ...Nice, I'm talking to myself.

"The best way to predict the future is to invent it." - Alan Kay

Bull's Eye

Amazing how life creates a way to answer the questions I randomly throw out into the vast universe. I opened my inbox this evening to find a Facebook alert from a dear friend informing me of a 'Tag' on one of her 'Notes'. It contained this essay from one of my favorite authors, Paulo Coelho. This, for me, is the true mark of wisdom: when one succeeds to simplify profound truths for the 'normal' person to fully absorb. Mr. Coelho is definitely an expert on this. That's why I'm one huge drooling fan.

. . o . .

Closing Cycles
by: Paulo Coelho

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through.

Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished. Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents' house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden?

You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won't take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that.

But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.

None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot for ever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and had not the least intention of coming back.

Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away. That is why it is so important (however painful it maybe!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.

Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose.

Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the ideal moment. Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person. Nothing is irreplaceable. A habit is not a need . This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.

. . o . .

If this essay was a person, he would be a grandpa-like figure with a booming voice, shaking his wrinkly finger right at my face. I needed this. Being the kind of person who absolutely hates clutter and delights in spanking fresh new beginnings, it's a terrible wonder how I desperately cling on to things of the past. I'm probably masochistic because I find the feeling of nostalgia addicting. It's just so cool how I seem to always reminisce in sepia (not on purpose, by the way). Sadly, most things are grand only in retrospect.

So I guess this answers my question.

Cycle closed, doors shut, chapter ended.

.. four months?

whoooooooooooaaaa...

it's. been. a. while.

I know, I know.. this blog's main purpose was supposedly to chronicle, in detail, my transition from "fresh off the boat" (F.O.B. as my white workmate puts it) to official L.A. native. But seriously, it's not that easy. Plus the fact that I'm still getting over these dreaded homesickness blues. Yes, everybody.. apparently, even I get homesick. Blame it on the cold western holidays. No puto bumbong... no bibingka... none of that sweet, sweet zombie look us Pinoys get when Christmas is nearing and we're up at 4a.m. every day for the nine days of simbang gabi - my personal favorite of all our traditions.. no ninongs and ninangs to fatten up my piggybank.. no caroling by the neighborhood kids squealing, "Jeengil beels, jeengil beels, jeengil olaweiii!!"... no goofy parols made of walis.. Nada.

Don't get me wrong. I mean, Christmas was still fun. I still got to eat all kinds of Pinoy food, thanks to Nanay Anita and the rest of the Quedit family. I still spent the rest of the night singing Tell Me, 'Til I Met You, Hands to Heaven (Christian Bautista's version, of course) and Torete (aahh.. classic) on the golden Magic Sing mic. I still mixed my beers with tequila and spent the wee hours of the morning hugging the toilet bowl. Yeah, pretty much the same..

Except that I'm not drinking my usual SMB (oh i miss you!) or a lucky happy horse (the special not-so-secret smiling Red Horse).. or the fact that there are no fireworks lined up in the streets in front of everybody's houses.

This is my problem: I keep on comparing. I have to stop if I really plan to move on and build a new life in this new place.

Before I moved here, I had this grand plan. I knew exactly what I was gonna do. I was gonna get a job, start saving, buy a car, get my credits evaluated so I start applying for master's, get a house with my sister, petition for my dad, be active with the FilAm community, make new awesome friends.. I had this amazing picture in my head on how my L.A. life will look like. And guess what? I almost have everything down. It's all slowly coming together. So, what's wrong with me? Why does it feel like there's this giant gaping hole I just cannot fill?

Because I can't let go.

I can't let go of my Pinas life. There's this internal struggle of embracing the new and clutching on with iron claws to what was. But maybe... hopefully... I don't have to pick just one.