A Narrative of Firsts

It was my first time to use our building's laundry facilities today. So, I gathered all my dirty clothes, crammed them into a cloth sack and trooped down to the basement. We live on the third floor in a building with no elevator so woohoo I still get my daily exercise despite my current bum status.

This wasn't really my most anticipated chore but I can't help feeling a wee bit giddy-excited. My very first laundry day!! I had to stop myself from bringing a camera to document the momentous event. My Ate warned me of the long line I would most probably have to endure before getting clean clothes. I pushed the heavy basement door open and saw that there was no one there. Wow, beginner's luck. I looked around and saw two washing machines and two dryers. There are around thirty families living in this building. Perfect. That would explain the tight competition.

I loaded my quarters into the machine, turned it on, added detergent, stuffed all my clothes in and let it rip. This whole ordeal took me half an hour to successfully accomplish. I had no idea what I was doing! I kept on jumbling the steps up. Trial and error can be downright frustrating but it's the best way to learn. A young Spanish girl came in a few minutes after I did. She doesn't speak English fluently so you can just imagine our struggle of a conversation. The dialogue consist mainly of hellos, hmm?s, ahhs, smiles and sign language. Our building has a ninety percent Spanish population. Striking casual conversations with my neighbors was an absolute challenge. I made a mental note to learn Spanish sometime soon.

Since the washing and drying process would take about an hour before it's done, I decided to go back up to our apartment to eat. When I went back down the basement after an hour, my clothes were done. I was pleased I didn't have to wait any longer so I was happily humming along on my way to the dryer. I gripped the dryer's cabinet handle and dramatically swung it open. What the-? A strong aroma like that of burnt hair filled the air. Oh noooes!! Was I really stupid enough to burn my own clothes?? I quickly pulled everything out to scan for damages. Is it just me or did my jeans shrink? Kala ko sa movies lang nangyayari yun. Anobaaaa... Everything looked okay. No burns or rips or anything like that. It's just that all my clothes look.. smaller. And smelled like fireworks.

I had an interview in less than an hour. It's the first job interview I scored here in LA. And I'll be coming in tight clothes which smelled like burnt hair. Great. Wish me luck.

Touchdown

Philippine Airlines Flight PR 102
June 9, 2008
7:41 p.m.

Mr. Pilot Man with whom I have entrusted the last 12 hours of my life with: "Mga binibini, ginang at ginoo, nakalapag na po tayo sa Los Angeles. Welcome to LA."

WoooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOooooooo!!!!!!!!!
I went crazy struggling to contain the urge to jump up my seat and scream this out loud.

My wild kiddo imagination instantaneously sent fireworks flying through the Fiesta cabin. Cue music. Staring at the blank page before you.. Open up the dirty window.. Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find............ Today is where your book begins.. The rest is still unwritten. :)

Basking in the Love

Come to think of it, staying here was not really an option for me. I kind of always knew that I was meant to do something 'bigger'.. and that entailed leaving my comfort zones and plunging into the vast unknown. Traveling the world and doing great things, that is my dream. And in two days, I will begin living this dream.

This has been my mindset since the moment I knew what I wanted to do with my life. It may not be the most detailed, most carefully thought-out plan, but I knew where I wanted to start and right now, that is all that matters.

So no, I did not write a 'pros-vs-cons' list. I did not create a cost-benefit analysis, like my course has trained me to do (shame on me). I did't even look into the numerous opportunities this country has laid out in front of me, given my educational credentials. No thinking twice, no back-up plans.. I was determined to make this work.

But last night.. tsk tsk.. last night definitely threw me off. I have so many great reasons not to leave... and they were all there on the Godiva rooftop last night. :)

So my amazing friends threw me a 'surprise' despedida last night. I knew that they were going to set up a send-off party for me. I actually requested it. So it all came down to when and how they were going to do it. Man, was I surprised! It was beyond perfect. I feel so loved. :) The rooftop venue was perfect, I felt like I was floating. Thank you thank you thank you. I loved it. :) I love it so much I'm using one too many smileys right now, and it's not even my normal smiley ( :] ). It's a special post. :) :) :)

(Almost) everyone was there! My Baboi bffs - Bianca was there! Kei and Jordan weren't there though. Sayang. But it was also Kei's birthday so I guess she's entitled to her own celebration. I hope I get to see my whole barkada before I leave. My 4D family were there, of course. I had my different groups of friends all in one place and I wanted so bad to spend time with each of them so I was table hopping all night. My 4D loves stayed with me til the end after everyone left. So yes, I always come home to 4D. They even serenaded me. Grabe, you guys are the best. I may not be "howling" (in Ione's words) after the song, but my heart was ready to explode with so much sadness/happiness/pure love for all of you guys. My beloved Ateneo A1 blockmates, most of them fresh and jetlagged from their U.S. trip, and Ada, AA and Thea were there also. A1 will always be my block. I love you, crazy people! Hep hep horray!! We'll always have Bora. My ASLA dearies, Vany, JQ and Jun, were also present. Thank you for the photograph post-cards. I love them! Jun was also actually the sole representative of my MEco friends. Where was everyone else? Tsk tsk. Tampo. Haha.. just kidding. My Jusmag barkada followed. It was great seeing you guys! We haven't had a get-together for the longest time. To think that we all live 5 minutes away from each other. I'll see you guys on Sunday. :)

Wow. Salamat sobra. Words cannot express how grateful I am to each one of you. I love you all! To think that I was so worried cause I didn't know how I was gonna stretch my remaining days to spend time with each of you. Then, voila! You were all there. Shuuuuucks. I'm all mush and cheese right now. You made me cry! I can't remember the last time I shed tears of overwhelmed happiness.

When I got home, I wasn't the least bit sleepy yet so I decided to read 4D's letters which were compiled in this notebook Aids got for me. Each message gave me such an incredible boost. Everyone was so excited for me, wishing me luck in my upcoming new life. I felt like I was ready to conquer the world. The deepest, warmest sense of gratitude had completely enveloped me by the time I finished reading the last letter. The next thing came so naturally. I closed the notebook, held it in between my palms and prayed. I said thank you a hundred times over.

Truthfully, I initially didn't want a despedida. I thought I couldn't handle the sadness. Plus, the underlying purpose of a despedida is to say goodbye. I definitely did not want or intend to say goodbye to anyone. I have already established with myself that I will not abandon anyone or anything. This will always be my home.

But know what? It was worth it. The sadness I experienced during the despedida was laced with so much love and affirmation. I will definitely be leaving with a smile on my face.